Loving Being MeAs an author in the ‘Thank God I ....'. Book series, Carol Goddard shares candidly the back ground to her story ‘Thank God I Love Being Me'.I would love readers to be touched, and to open their hearts, and see that they are enough just as they are.
"What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared
to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within out into the world,
miracles happen."
Henry David Thoreau From page xi The Life You Were Born To Live Dan Millman
I was lost, and had really got so far away from who I am that it felt like I was dying on the inside, like watching a candle flame flickering just before it goes out. The words that come to mind are lost and alone and fading, I could feel my self fading away, in what seemed like a never ending spiral, the more I tried to be something I wasn't the further away from ‘me' I became, the more lost I felt. I had grown up not feeling that I was enough just as I was, so would often position my self in roles of pleasing everyone around me, and ending up feeling empty and lost and not knowing who I was anymore inside. This was over time and distance where I kept trying to add to who I was in what seemed like a never ending cycle, as it still was never enough. This built up through my teens and early adult life. I was drawn to the raw experiences in life, through nursing and midwifery, where I experienced life through birth and death. And it was through these raw experiences that I was able to see me, and see that I am enough just as I am. My fear of not being enough led me to the experiences that showed me that I am. The couple Susan and Peter and their baby Daniel, are the ones that shared a most ‘raw' experience with me. I met them all for the first time as I was looking after them. Really we were like ships in the night, coming together and sharing an intense experience. As a midwife I was with Susan and Peter as Susan gave birth to their son Daniel who had died before he was born. Susan and Peter knew that Daniel had already died and so experienced the grief of his death as he was born. This was a profoundly raw experience for us all. Susan and Peter were able to fully experience what was happening, and over time were able to experience a depth of love and gratitude that was extraordinary. It was in the ‘rawness' of the human experience that I got to experience me and see that I didn't have to add anything, I was enough just as I am. It was when I read the Thank You card from Susan and Peter, knowing the time we shared was sacred that I really got it! I got to set aside any concerns not being enough as I am, and just BE, to realize that I am enough, just as I am, right now! The experience of looking after Susan and Peter and Daniel, was touching to my core, my heart opened, and it led me home to me. I experienced Grace, where time stands still, and all is one, love and depth of connection, and acceptance of me. I received the ultimate gift of feeling at one, content in me. My external world changed as soon as my internal world changed. I made choices that honor me. In learning to honor me, I am now able to more fully honor others. I now get to see the perfection in everything. I get to experience Love. Seeing the illusion of fear and removing this barrier to being Love has opened up an inner peace beyond all understanding. Allowing and trusting were the keys for me for acceptance of me just the way I am, once I could accept me, every thing looked different. Forgiveness of me, for such a long time holding that I wasn't enough, forgiveness was healing, it allowed the love and gratitude to flow. Gratitude is what is there, inside of grace and love and presence. I am grateful for all of my experiences. From the void of fearing me being enough came the knowing that I am. And from the 'I am' space my purpose in life is to see divinity in all things, to see others as their higher or essence selves and relate to them as that so that in my presence they can be themselves. This is my passion as I pass-I-on, as I pass me on. This is the ultimate beauty and perfection, Love. From this experience I started working with people who wanted to see their own true selves and this has led to a change in career where I now work with people, being with them as they discover and step into the truth of who they are. I have co-authored a book ‘A Life Like Yours' written as a parable about finding love. And I have recorded a meditation CD ‘Awaken To Stillness and Find an Ocean of Peace in Your Heart', the words for this meditation came to me in the early hours one spring morning, so I quickly wrote them down, and when I did the meditation I had a most amazing spiritual experience. So we recorded it so that others could experience it too. We have used Tibetan Singing Bowls as the backing vibration, which gives an amazing resonance. The more I tune in and honor my truth, the more flow I experience. I came from being lost and alone, then in surrendering to the moment and being present, I am waking up, more aware, I Am. The gift for me is seeing and knowing the depth of me, the depth of Love. Seeing and knowing the depth of others, your depth of Love. © Carol Goddard 2008 ABOUT THE AUTHOR Carol Goddard is an Australian author and presenter, a reminder of who we are. Carol's offering is her Open Heart and the Deepening Remembrance of her own Essence, Carol offers programs both locally and globally. Please visit www.CarolGoddard.net NOTE: You're welcome to "reprint" this article online as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the "about the author" info at the end). |